The Life of Me

The Dollar Store... *sigh*... It's.. It's.. Quite a place. I wasted so many 1's there as a kid. Like this stupid, extremely freaky black cat statue thing that I bought with my dad once when I was, like, 7. It had these creepy bright blue eyes (something like this color), and it was so pointless. And I believe it was $1.50 or something, because I remember going to the desk and being so baffled. I was like, But this is the DOLLAR Store. Not the DOLLAR FIFTY Store. Something's wrong here... I threw the cat away just recently. (I would've gotten rid of the darn thing years ago, but I have this shelf of little trinkets, and the cat was holding up some medals.) And I also bought this little St. Paul's Cathedral statue thing. It was so pointless. I mean, I had never heard of St. Paul's Cathedral before. It just looked like a castle, so I, a young, immature, female 7-year-old, needed it. Ugh.

But I did have one very successful shopping trip there once. I was 3 or 4 years old. (How do I know that? Because I saw this toy in a video of me when I was 3 or 4.) His name is Green-A. Why? Because he was--and is--green. And I was uncreative. So I named him Green Apple, or Green-A. for short. HIS NAME IS NOT GREENY!!! Everybody calls him that! Why? I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA! Sorry. I just get a little angry when people dis Gree--AND HE IS NOT A CAT! OKAY??? HE'S A DAWGGONE DOG!!! JEEZ!!! Cats don't have floppy ears! (Okay, so his aren't extremely long ears, but he's still a DOG!!!) And you know what? I still have him! He's alive! Sort of! So, maybe his purple feathery collar came off... (Well, actually, my mom made me cut it off the day after I got him, 'cause it was shedding EVERYWHERE.) And it's possible that his neck has absolutely no stuffing in it. And maybe his once-fluffy fur is a bit extremely matted down. He might be a bit dusty. In fact, I washed him a little while ago, and I pulled him out of the drier and stared in awe at his bright, lime green fur (like, this color*). I hadn't seen it so clean in months! So, I put him down on my bed, and literally, two minutes later, I came back, and he was dirty again! I was like, WHAAAAT? When did that happen??? But he's awesome. I'm never going to have the guts to throw him away. He's adorable! And he's so cuddly! Even though he's so pathetic. I'm hoping to give him to my kids when I have some. But I'll have to wait until they can play with him without chewing, drooling, peeing, or pooping on him and without ripping him to shreds. Or maybe I'll just put him in a glass box where they can admire them... And get fingerprints and drool and pee and poop all over the box... I'll figure something out.

-Sue Donimm

*If the "this color" is grey, it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be lime green. (For those who don't know what this is, in the 2nd paragraph, there's a * by "this color," which means that this is a note about those words...)