The Life of Me

(First off, I do apologize for taking SO LONG to post something new! I'm sure my billions of fans out there were getting so worried that I'd died or been kidnapped or gotten amnesia or something. Truth is: Webs randomly didn't let me sign in for a while, but now it's working again. Do NOT judge Webs for that--every website has its faults, and Webs is still an awesome site-building website, and you can make websites for free if you don't want all these snazzy things that paying people can get on here.) (I do it for free, and look how awesome this website is!)

My mind... What a beautiful, busy, loud, weird thing that is! It is the reason I have a blog, and can cook, and can decide whether or not to pay Webs for better--and not useful to me--stuff, and why so many people think I may be slightly crazy. (Or maybe not so slightly...)

I tend to make stupid, careless mistakes when doing math, like adding random 0's to numbers, writing "5" when it's really "6," and mistaking negatie signs for minuses (which sometimes doesn't make a difference, but sometimes it does). I also frequently encounter the dilema of finding the answer without being aware of how I found it--I know the end, but not the means. Fortunately, I always had friends who had more control over their brains than I had over mine, so they knew the means, sometimes without knowing the end, so we were both being helpful to each other. "But how did you find the end without the means?" you ask. I believe there are two main ways: I simply used means of my own when I couldn't remember the real methods, or my mind made superfast connections between numbers, so I was like... 3c-77/3.52+xyz(3-8/91)/23+45np(9uvv)-52/139+3q---IT'S 7!!! And I just sit back and think... WHAT????? I then discover that it is, in fact, 7. And I keep sitting back and thinking... WHAT????? Because I have no freaking clue how my brain came up with that random number while simultaneously reading the equation. So I sit back once more and think... WHAT????? Then I sit back for a while and think, How did I come up with that? The professor said "YOU MUST SHOW ALL YOUR WORK ON ALL YOUR PROBLEMS OR YOU WILL FLUNK THIS SEMESTER, AND YOU WILL GET HELD BACK, AND YOU WILL FAIL AT LIFE AND HAVE NO CAREER, NO JOB, NO HUSBAND, NO CHILDREN, NO LEGACY, AND NO LIFE." So I just stare down at that long, long equation that somehow equals 7. I tend to spend hours trying every possible way to break up the problem and get it to equal 7. Eventually I decide that I don't give a crap if I show the work the instructor wants me to show. Maybe I'll come up with a new, flawless solving method, and it will be dubbed The Donimm Method, and I'll become rich and famous and not need a job because I'll be able to retire at the age of 18. (I am not currently 18... Unfortunately.)

My mind does this pretty much all the time--it makes random connections to random things and comes up with seemingly random things. Like, say someone is talking about the zoo. My brain takes the following train of thought: "Pandas... Bamboo... My bamboo flash drive... Darwin (my bamboo flash drive's name--yes, I name my flash drives, deal with it)... The letter D... Grades... School... My friend from school... My friend's Verizon phone... Verizon commercials... TV... Movies... Pirates of the Caribbean... Johnny Depp... He was arrested for bringing his dogs somewhere (or something like that)... Police... Drug busts... This kid from a musical I was in who was talking about drugs, but wasn't actually on them, but somebody thought he said he was, and it made a mini inside joke amidst the drama club people... "Beauty and the Beast" (that was the musical)... Belle's gold dress... Sewing... Needles... Knitting... Scarves... Fashion... "Project Runway" (good show if you're into fashion--or even if you're not, but you're not, like, anti-fashion)... Swatch (a dog who's occasionally in that show)... Dogs in general... Leashes... Leash clasp things... The broken clasp on my favorite bracelet... I don't like bracelets... Things I don't like... Lima beans... Lima beans I got at a restaurant once... The mean waitress there... Waitresses in general... The word "welcome" ('cause waitresses say that when you enter the restaurant sometimes)... Greetings in general... Greetings in French... French places... Quebec... Canada... Snow... Winter... Christmas... "CHRISTMAS IS IN 118 DAYS!!!" I shout in the middle of the person's story about the zoo. (Yes, the zoo story is still going on, 'cause all that stuff happened in my brain in about .0007 seconds.) Then everybody gives me that all-too-familiar, "Are you crazy or just... Crazy?" look. Then I try to explain to them the train of thought that just zoomed through my head, but then realize that that will make them think I'm even crazier than they already think I am, so I just give up. But it's not embarrassing or anything. I'm totally used to being thought of as insane. Heck, even I think I'm a bit insane! But, as Marilyn Monroe said, "It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." That phrase is the story of my life.

-Sue Donimm