The Life of Me

I'm an "honors student." I'm in several honors classes. I've always been an "honors student." I get pretty good grades, I'm supposedly going to get into not-crappy colleges. But you know what?

I never asked to be an honors student.

I'm not ungrateful that I'm an honors student. I'm glad that I've been gifted with the ability to retain information, even if, to be honest, I don't understand any of it a good portion of the time. I'm not an incredibly smart person when it  comes to the important things - politics, history, war, money... But I'm able to remember facts and dates and equations and utilize them on tests. And so I'm an "honors student."

You'd think that phrase would make me proud, make me smile. But it's been given a very negative connotation. Whenever we do poorly on a test, "you're honors students. I expected more from you." If a teacher gives a truckload of homework and the classroom groans about it, the teacher shakes a scolding finger and says, "You guys are honors students. What'd you expect?"

Again: I never asked to be an honors student.

Not to mention that, along with most of my fellow Honors Students, I have a job, and I do extra curriulars. This past week was a particularly long week of work and rehearsals, so I got a grand total of 10 hours of sleep in 4 nights. And I had barely any time to myself, to do what I wanted to do, which, as it happens, would've been writing and cooking, which would've given me practice for the career paths I hope to take.  My school is very college-focused, so why, I wonder, would they decide that I should spend my time doing chemistry and algebra 2 and other subjects' worth of busy work that have nothing at all whatsoever to do with my college plans?

Sure, that's a little harsh. It's good to have that information on hand. But still, I shouldn't have to stay up till 5 am writing essays and figuring out what x equals and memorizing the names and formulas and charges of 23 polyatomic ions, only to get up an hour and a half later to get even more work to do, and to be looked upon like a disobedient child and told that "I'm an honors student."

I never asked to be an honors student.

And I will admit, this whole thing is very biased. I do respect teachers. They get paid next to nothing to put up with obnoxious, ungrateful kids/teenagers (eg me) all day every day. But still... I want sleep, and I want me-time, and I want people to stop making me feel bad about the gifts I've been given.

-Sue Donimm